On the verge...

There are days when I would like to escape the reality of life. Today would be one of those days. Overwhelmed, exhausted, stretched to the max.....sound familiar to anyone? Not that I wish that on anyone, but boy would it be great to know I'm not the only one. I can't remember the last time I fell asleep before 2 a.m. and didn't get a wake up call every 1-2 hours. Both boys have slept horribly lately, therefore I have slept horribly. Last night I may have had a minor melt down around 1:40 am. I bawled my eyes out! My blessed, sweet husband held me until I cried myself to sleep. Praise God for that man!
I have had one, (no joke) ONE day at home last month and one day this month where I wasn't going anywhere and no one was coming over. My laundry has piled into a mountainous range in our bed room and the laundry room. And my dishes....well....lets just say when we woke up the other morning, our house smelled like an onion cause I didn't have time to do the dishes until after 10pm and by that time I was too tired so I let it go......yeah, I know...gross!
Oliver has been super fussy the past two days where all he does is cry. Not only that but he is teething and that has given him a major butt rash. I thought giving it some air might help so I let him run stark naked for a while.....bad idea.....two words.....potty carpet! I crack up laughing when I see this commercial but oh boy are there days like this. Some days I think "What are we doing bringing another child into this craziness?!" And then I see a picture of a little Ethiopian child or get an email from our case worker and I remember.
To add to the whole thing, we have been trying desperately to save money for this adoption and that has gone out the window!!! Every time we start to get ahead the infamous beast of a truck breaks down. And when I say breaks down, I don't mean a bolt pops off. I mean we drop hundreds at a time. I am pretty certain we are  nearing the $3,000 mark in 6 months. Again, no, I am not kidding!! Today we took the crap machine in because we thought something our mechanic fixed a month ago had a problem, and he planned to fix it for free. WRONG! $200.00 more down the tubes cause of course it was something else! So, now we have had to resort to the dreaded credit card. We NEVER use it! NEVER! It is for emergencies only and apparently we have reached that point. aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! (Can you hear me screaming?!)
To say the least I had some serious moments of discouragement recently and I have questioned what in the world we are doing. Today I was on the verge of melt down number two in 24 hours when two things happened. One immediately following the other. 1~ My dear friend Issy sent me a text reminding me that everything was going to be ok. That God called us to this and put it in our hearts and he would provide in every way. Ah...a wave a peace....2~ My friend Joanna sent me a text telling me she had like 80-160 CD's she wanted to give me to sell to raise money for the adoption. Ah....wave number two. Praise God! (click on her name, it will take you to her website so you can listen to her talent and check her out....maybe you will wanna buy a CD! :))
I'm not gonna lie, I am still tired. I am still stretched to the max. However, I am starting to let go a little and lean on the everlasting arms. Right when I reached the brink HE came through to remind me that HE was still in control. HE cares, HE sees and when I let go HE will carry me.....The old hymn runs through my head....."leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms. Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms."

faithful

I was made aware of this family today. This family is not your average family in any way shape or form. I read one blog post and it drew me in. I ended up going back over two years in her writings. Renee (mom) and Derek (dad) have two living biological children, two who went to be with Jesus and 10 adopted. Roughly two years ago Derek was in a terrible car accident and was killed. Renee is now a single mother to 12 and president of the Orphan Justice Center. Just one year earlier they had posted about a missionary family that had suddenly lost their husband/father and asked for prayer and support for them. Now it's her in that position. Her faith in Christ stuns my heart and encourages my spirit in such deep ways. I have never met this woman, I have never experienced the pain she has felt and I have never faced the challenges she has faced. Yet my heart feels gratitude and compassion for her all at the same time. Here I am getting discouraged or frustrated at minimal speed bumps in our adoption road.....my perspective has changed.....greatly. How can I allow such small things shake me? He is faithful!! The faithfulness of Christ in this woman's life....in her children's lives....it brings me to tears. While walking down some of the hardest, most painful roads the Lord has been faithful. In every way faithful. God calls us to follow his calling and his purposes regardless of what life brings. This she is still doing. Regardless. HOWEVER, He is faithful to comfort and care for us through it. He is faithful to provide everything we need. He is faithful to love and carry us. We are not on this journey on our own. Where ever you are, whatever you are going through, whatever discouragement or frustration you are going through......be faithful to follow. He IS faithful to complete the work he started in you! (Phil 1:6)

http://louxfamilyblog.com/2011/10/a-thankful-heart/...Read it... this is one of my favorite ones. You can read em all, but this one from October really reaches me.

And the winner is.....

CONGRATULATIONS #88 BRITTANY B! Thank you all for joining in and supporting our adoption and for entering to win the raffle! Brittany, You have won a Family photo shoot with Darcy Holsopple for 2012! This is valued at $200.00! Yay for you! And a very HUGE thank you to Darcy for being willing to bless our lives and the life of a child by donating your talent! I am blessed to call you my friend and I appreciate and love you bunches! THANK YOU!  Thanks to all of you we were able to raise $880.00 towards our adoption! Love how God provides! If anyone else out there has a fundraising idea or something they would like to donate for our next raffle  please let me know! Email me at erinrtoth@gmail.com.

Busy, Busy

Sorry it has been so long since we have posted. We have two sick kids and way too much going on right now. We are waiting on our home studies at the moment, so there isn't a whole lot to report on right now. We have about 40 more tickets to sell for our raffle if you are interested in helping us out and entering to win a Photo shoot!! We plan to raffle it off after we sell 100 tickets. Post the link on facebook or tell your friends and family. The more people we have buy tickets, the sooner we will get to announce our winner! (And pay for a home study.) :) Thanks for all of your prayers and support!

Adopted by HIM

My friend Nikki sent me a link to this video today. It is what our hearts have been feeling. God adopted us as his children. He sacrificed so we in turn could be a part of HIS family. He chose us and saved us. He is the author of adoption. He is the one who came up with the idea and now he passes that on to us. We are so humbled by the love of Christ and his call on our life. I am pretty emotional at the moment and without words. Just watch this and it will express our hearts better than my words can......love.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6jO7xhU_Pw

Faces of Ethiopia

It is 1:18 am and I can't sleep...this is pretty much how this whole process began for me. :) I follow a ministry called No ordinary love ministries. Tonight I checked up and found these pictures. Oh my heart.....This awakens something inside of my heart I didn't even know existed until recently. These pictures make me long for the day I get to hold my child....the child unknown to me, but not to the one who created him/her/them. I want to do more. I want to help more. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27.Take a few minutes and click on this link. Look at these beautiful faces. How can you help them or show them love? http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2123410008499.2108560.1343332974&type=3

It's Raffle Time with Darcy Holsopple Photography

We have filled you all in on our hearts for adoption, the extreme cost and our process thus far. Last week we mailed in our second round of paper work with our first big check...A check we were able to send thanks to selling our Freestyle and buying a grocery getter! Thank God right?! So now we are on to our first raffle. I am SUPER excited about this one. Our first donation came from one of my nearest and dearest friends Darcy Holsopple. Darcy is an amazing photographer and she has been doing our family pictures for years and we are so thankful for her willingness to donate! Want to see how great she is? Here is some proof!!

 I can't wait to see who wins!!!! You will be so blessed by the pictures you will get and she is so much fun to work with! Here is what your raffle ticket can win for you!

2012 Family Session (up to 6 ppl)

approximately 1 hour session

location of outdoor session within 15 miles of 46553 area code

approximately 20-25 digital images on CD

valued at $200

www.darcyholsopplephotography.blogspot.com

Find me on Facebook at Darcy Holsopple Photography

So, here is how the raffle works.

Email us at erinrtoth@gmail.com. Type raffle in the subject line. Tell us how many raffle "tickets" you would like to buy, your name,  phone number or email address, and tell us if you will pay via check or paypal.  We will assign you 1 number per "ticket" and email the number(s) back to you. After we reach $1,000 we will raffle off the prize.
To pay for your ticket(s) all you need to do is simply click on the donate button on the right of this page. Follow the simple instructions and pay by debit or credit card. If you do not have either of those, email me and we will make arrangements.
Each "ticket" will cost $10.00...which is an amazing price to pay for the photo shoot! Post the link to your fb page or email it to friends you think would be interested in getting a professional photography session at such a great price. The more people that know, the more people will bid. The more people we get bidding the sooner you will find out if you win!!! To increase your chance to win buy more than one ticket. There is no limit to number of tickets you buy! Let's get started!!

soccer mom

Well....it's official.....I'm a 30 year old minivan drivin mama! I swore I wouldn't have any more kids and I wouldn't own a minivan....Now look at me. I am in the adoption process and today I bought a minivan! It really is a huge blessing and answer to prayer, it is just a humbling step for me. :) Never say never....and no I am not quoting Justin Bieber! Last week I told you all that we needed to get some money for home studies and another round of paper work. We felt that we were to sell our Freestyle and buy an older minivan. We then would have a profit that could get us through that next step financially. We sold the Freestyle and bought a 02 Honda Odyssey all within a 5 day period. AMAZING! So praise God we are able to continue on in this process and....we made one little 4 year old very happy by buying a minivan with a dvd player! (Not on purpose, it was just a nice little bonus.) Thanks for all of the prayers! The speed at which things keep happening is a testimony to your prayers. Thank you!

And the process continues!

YAY! Today at 5:05 p.m. we got a phone call from Sarah at awaa. What did she say? We can continue!!!! They are not requiring us to have the full $5,000.00 for stage one! Yay! This means we can get our paper work started as we work on getting the financing. Which means we won't have to wait and prolong the process! This is great news! What is really funny, was that I sat down around 4:45 and typed out an email trying to further explain our finances etc... and when I was about to hit send I lost Internet connection. I thought hmm...I need to stop and wait and just trust that God has it all under control. Sure enough, 30 minutes later I got the call. God is good!

Holding HIS Hand

My friend Stacy emailed me this verse today. ~For I the Lord your God will hold your right hand, saying to you, "Fear not, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13 It got me thinking....
I have had this picture of God walking with us holding our hands in the same way we hold the hand of our children. We have their best in mind and ask them to trust us to make decisions that are best for them. They trust us to hold their hands. To help them up stairs when they aren't yet strong enough to do it on their own and keep them from falling. In the same way I feel God is asking us to trust Him and hold his hand in this process.
Galatians 4: 4-5, Ephesians 1: 5, Romans 9: 4, Romans 8: 23, John 1: 12 and Romans 8: 15-17 all tell us Christ has adopted us as his sons and daughters. This gives me the picture of holding the hand of our adopted son or daughter, asking them to trust that we will help them....Which we can only do by holding the hand of our heavenly Father. Trusting....

Where do we start?

Not knowing where to start, I guess we will just...well...start. :) Upon suggestion of my cousins and friends we decided to create an adoption blog. This will allow everyone to follow our process without us having to tell the same stories over and over and over again. It also helps us get the word out there about adoption and what we feel God has called us to. We are so excited and scared all at the same time. We have so many thoughts and questions swirling around in our minds as I am sure most adoptive parents do. This will be a place for us to share our feelings and struggles as well as our excitement and joys.
We are currently in a waiting period. It appears we need to have $5,000 in order for the adoption agency to allow us to continue on. So...we wait. We have decided to put our favorite family vehicle...our 05 Ford Freestyle...up for sale in order to make some of that money. We will have to use part of that money to purchase a...cough, cough...minivan....(I swore I'd never own one.) And then the rest should put a good dent in that first $5,000. We are trusting, praying and staying positive in this time. Please pray with us that the money comes so we can continue. God is bigger than a dollar sign!!!
Thanks so much for joining in this journey with us.We hope this blog helps you all keep up with the latest news on our Ethiopian adoption process.